SOL Tuesday Men stories


He’s no longer in Vienna, been away for at least a decade. Living ‘off the grid’ with no internet connection. I respect that. Keeping a farm going on the southern tip of Wales with a few others. Close to the sea, he tells me. I picture him in my mind’s eye: purposeful, unhurried and at peace, finally. Having cast off the yoke of some key modern conveniences, perhaps he has at last arrived at a life worth calling his own.


Whenever we spoke the last time it must have been brief, awkward even. So many years apart, a vastness of water under the bridge, we were almost shy with each other. I felt guarded in offering too much information from my life. Yes, he should know that I did not fall on my face but how much detail to convey it? Instead, I relied on his desire to impress and let him tell me about his latest appointment at the Uni in Weimar, a few recent publications, a cooperation with an Ivy League professor. He sounded largely pleased with himself and his accomplishments. How could it be otherwise? In the end I didn’t need to reveal much about myself at all. It dawned on me then: he was actually never that enthusiastic about the listening part of conversation.


This guy. His laugh – from a high pitched near squeak to a raspy panting – so typical. How we met: at a road race. Before he came over to chat me up, he pointed out my high calf muscles to his friends. After the race we exchanged numbers. A day or two later we were jogging in my neighborhood park. A week later I was at his place more than my own. The week after that we decided to tie the knot. A month after that we followed through. It was always a good choice. Impulsive, yes. Radical, yes. Just enough of the right stuff to safely untie the knot when it was time. We’re still a surprisingly good team. His laugh remains notorious. I chose well.

3 thoughts on “SOL Tuesday Men stories

  1. The men in our lives teach us a lot about ourselves. I can’t even imagine what my ex’s are like, nor do I really want to find out. I know I’m not the same as I was when I was with them. I presume they aren’t entirely the same either…but maybe.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love what you’ve done here, how you bring us these three men and what they’ve brought to you and your life. You reveal so much, both about why you were together – and why you are not. There is a definite “bless and release” vibe here, and I say that without any trace of irony. It’s an acknowledgement of personhood, of growth, of moving on. Beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lainie really says a lot of what I was going to say. Each reflection comes with an ability to look at the relationship with a bit of distance. I suspect the closest in time might be the hardest, but I love the line “Just enough of the right stuff to safely untie the knot when it was time.” Yes.

    Liked by 1 person

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