SOL March 20th Time Alone

I typically enjoy and s a v o r time alone. Me time. Two days to do as I please. Sleeping in, beginning the day with writing rather than breakfast. Words fuel me for now. It’s quiet, no one needs anything from me. It’s delightful and it’s eerie.

Of course, there’s tons of work to be done. Still so many boxes to be unpacked or stored or finally pitched. Why on earth do we keep so much STUFF? My decision-making pace has slowed as the essential bases are covered. Sleeping, eating, studying, relaxing, laundering are all possible, functional, even comfortable in some spots. Peripheral chaos is tolerable especially when we go to work/school 5 days a week. Slack is something we cut ourselves.

I will do some of that work, not all.

Alone and to myself. It has been a while.

I like myself alone. I’m creative and pensive, lazy and productive, at ease and sometimes at peace.

Today feels like a dusty science experiment set I’ve recovered from the basement. What’s in here for me? What can I make of this?

So. Much. Quiet. Silence as a quantity. Measurable, finite. Being alone and knowing the silence will have an end.

I have spent so much time sorting through things – past, past, past, past – each item arguing for its relevance, its right to remain. Every decision entails a judgment, temporary or otherwise. That’s what makes it so exhausting. I am the judge granting storage or sentencing to disposal.

Time alone means time to sort myself out, to sort out my feelings, to pull layers apart and hold them up to the light.

That’s how dealing with stuff becomes much easier. A diversion. A ‘look busy’ strategy. I got a a million of ’em.

But the self is persistent. Knowing. Recognizes opportunity in a heartbeat. My self thrives on understanding and clarity. Won’t let herself be put on hold for too long. The reckoning is coming. She knows. She’s on it.

Given that, I’d say I’m in good hands. In my own good hands. Yes. That’s a fine way to spend this precious time alone.

8 thoughts on “SOL March 20th Time Alone

  1. The inner monologue is all. The echoing quiet, the insistent task, it all added up like the ticking of a quiet clock. But the pace is yours, you’re setting it and you’re keeping it. Your own devices… a good place to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your inner strength shines. I enjoyed this image: Today feels like a dusty science experiment set I’ve recovered from the basement. What’s in here for me? What can I make of this?

    What can I make of this? A question to begin our days- on the outside and within.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Silence as a quantity.
    I thought about this for several minutes- all the ways silence holds its shape for us. The self as persistent — your knowing of your own resiliency and power.
    Sherri, your writing is so beautiful. TY TY for sharing of yourself in this way! And thank you too for your kind words on my integrity piece. Meant so much to me!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The savoring, the silence, the sorting… I love every bit of this beautifully-rendered reflection.
    There’s such strength of spirit and peace of mind in it – plus the “slack” we need to cut ourselves and often do not. This line pulls at me most: “Time alone means time to sort myself out, to sort out my feelings, to pull layers apart and hold them up to the light.” Yes. Yes. Knowing the “reckoning” is coming – but yes. Thank you for this, Sherri.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What a beautiful post here, Sherri. The way you approach your solitude is heartening. As in, we can distract ourselves with all kinds of tasks, chores, and busy-looking sorts of things. But our self – our true self – is staid, patient, and waiting for us to quiet down and listen. Thank you for letting me slow down and think along with you.

    Liked by 1 person

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