SOL Tuesday: Mistakes Were Made

I listened. He was rather emotional and came right out with it: I had hurt him.

“Hurt” was his word and I could see it.

Of course I hadn’t intended to hurt, not by any stretch. And yet I had done precisely that.

I apologized, several times.

From his perspective I could imagine how my actions could be construed as hurtful.

Mistakes were made.

I made some mistakes. I own that.

I will think more carefully in the future. One can only hope.

One of my heroes of community organizing said in an interview:

“The second thing that matters to me as a unit of impact is harm. I want to figure out how to transform harm in every possible context because I have been harmed, and I have harmed other people.” – Mariame Kabe

The idea of transforming harm. How does that happen?

Our conversation continued. We spoke honestly; our defenses put aside. We left the talk knowing each other a little better. That was no mistake.

This is how we begin to transform harm.


4 thoughts on “SOL Tuesday: Mistakes Were Made

  1. This is a beautiful piece. I love how it comes full circle with the harm being the mistake, but transforming the harm being no mistake. It’s a great reminder for everyone who has ever been harmed, or harmed others (which is everyone). Thanks for sharing!


  2. Although this sounds like an uncomfortable opportunity, I love how you have described it here. It is difficult to lean into responsibility when it feels like this but I love the perspective you’ve taken here and think it is so important to share moments like these. Very human moments.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my. I have many questions … but suffice it to say, we have all walked in these uncomfortable shoes. Not meaning to cause harm, but. The spareness of your writing here gives it such impact; even with the unanswered questions, there’s universal appeal, and the greatest line to me is “from his perspective” – one of the keys, I think, to life. Your post stirred the memory of this quote: “If you don’t heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.” I always have to sit awhile and mull that. You post makes me want to do the same.

    Liked by 1 person

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